#104 Relationships: Quality over Quantity

Do you define yourself by the number of friends you have or likes you get on social media?


It used to really drive my train. Until I started studying other people’s metrics and saw that even though those that I have been working with have 60k + “followers”, that number had no bearing on how many thumbs up they got or the amount of engagement they received.


When I had that ah-ha, I started looking at my “relationships” on social media in a completely different way.


And just the other day I received even more validation when I got the following DM from a stranger;


Hey, Susan, I see that we got things in common and thought that would be a good excuse to connect.


I wasn’t sure whether or not you’d appreciate me sending you a friend request or not, so thought I’d leave it in your hands if you felt so inclined, and of course, I would gladly accept.


I took some to marinate how I felt about this. At first, I thought it was odd. But I get so many friend requests and DM’s, many of which are just a prompt for me to follow them back. 


And because I am trying to only engage and DM with those that tap into something inside of me, I ain’t got time for all the other crap.


So, this was my response;


Thanks for reaching out. I am happy to share this platform with you, however, if you plan on pitching me or hustling me - I am not interested. I am sure you understand.”


Her reply;


I won’t be pitching you, I promise. However, with your permission, can I use your exact words the next time I get a friend request? Your honesty really struck a chord with me.






In today’s issue, I’m going to share three tips that will help you build real connections on social media.

Tip #1

It’s not a competition It’s not about the number of likes, followers, or people you collect on social media. If you want to be an influencer, then that is a different story. But if you want to build real relationships, ones that will surprise you, then it’s time to engage. Stop scrolling, Instead, pause, and read what someone has to say. If it speaks to you, comment. If they respond, keep that dialogue going until it’s time to take that convo off line. That is where the real relationship starts.

Tip #2

Be honest. The convo I had above with a random DM is one of many. I don’t need more noise in my life and neither do you. Thus, why I have started responding in that way. It was not only honest, but it was direct and not written in a way that would make someone feel bad. You can do the same. And if you want to use my exact words…be my guest.

Tip #3

Consistency counts. If you are serious about building an online presence on social media in order to build a community of people who want what you are selling, be consistent. If you can commit to posting at least three times a week with value-driven content, then it will come. It just takes time grasshopper.

I am trying to show up more on my social platforms, thus practicing what I am preaching. It’s not always easy. I am not always inspired and when that happens I allow myself some grace to let that day go. And you should too.


I hope you found some value in these three tips. And if one in particular resonated with you, leave a comment. Who knows, that could be the start of a terrific relationship!!

P.S. If you are digging these three tips, you can get them in your inbox each week. Sign up here.


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