According to the National Science Foundation, on average, most of us have around 12k - 60k thoughts per day.
That’s a lot of thoughts. And did you also know that of those thoughts, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive?
It’s no wonder why some days can be challenging to power through when over 80% of your brain tells you you are not enough. It’s no accident that feeling lonely, tired, helpless, or uninspired creeps into your head space.
Learning to reframe that narrative is something I have spent a lot of time working on. And there are days when I am not super successful. Recently a client reached out to me when she was experiencing this and she said, “I am unmotivated, exhausted, and questioning my purpose.”
My response to her was, “you’re human, not a machine. Lean into that, but don’t stay there too long.”
As a solopreneur and business builder, you forget that. Most days, you are stuck in your space, creating what you are dreaming of, wearing all 7 hats at the boardroom table, and giving up or feeling stuck is a natural, human emotion.
I have spent lots of time, looking for ways to reframe that self-talk and I am not always successful. And when that happens, I turn the light off in my office, close the door and do something else. Generally, a nice, quiet walk along the beach helps. And when that isn’t possible, I bake or do whatever it takes to eliminate those thoughts.
If this resonates with you and you need a quick pep talk on reframing our negative thoughts, then these three tips are for you.
If you haven’t written down your dreams, wishes, desires, and wants, I suggest you do that. Start with 50. This list should embrace all sides of you (what I call your pillars), including the spiritual, emotional, physical, financial, intellectual, and creative. Pick three things on that list that are not business related. The fun stuff; the hobbies you want to master or a talent you want to learn. Setting time aside each week for the creative will get you out of your head.
Develop some sort of quiet practice. The commitment could be as little as 5-10 minutes per day. Upon waking, my morning ritual consists of 10 rounds of 5-5-5. Inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Followed up with a simple meditation asking myself what I am grateful for. It keeps me present and helps eliminate those thoughts of what I don’t have.
Control your calendar, don’t let it control you. Over the years, I have learned to put myself on the calendar. My system for doing this is “blocking and batching.” It’s an easy way to create a distraction-free zone so I can work on one project at a time. It’s anything from writing podcast episodes and developing digital courses to cleaning out my digital filing cabinet. Whatever it is, it has some sort of end goal to it and I put it on the calendar the same way I would a dentist appointment or a workout.
I am going to challenge you one step further. In Stage 3 of my 5 Stage Framework™, I ask all my clients and students to do this very simple exercise.
If you are up for it, I want you to send an email to 10 of your besties and ask them to list 3 adjectives that best describe you. Pay attention to the majority and then isolate the top three.
If there’s anything that can reframe your perspective from the negative to the positive - it’s this exercise.
If you are interested in grabbing the link to the national science foundation article, hit reply to this email. Happy to share!
See you next time!!
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